


Helping Hand

by CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-18
Updated: 2010-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-09 00:40:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum





	Helping Hand

According to some regulation  
You must avoid association.  
When lost in deep space  
A burning embrace  
Can lead to Star Fleet condemnation.

This can be a slight complication  
And often creates irritation  
In Captains of ships  
On very long trips  
Who suffer acute deprivation.

You can try intense concentration  
Or Transcendental Meditation  
To stave off the itch  
If you ignore, which  
Might lead to some fraternization.

Perchance grammar for relaxation?  
But what fun is verb conjugation?  
Easing the tension  
With some declension  
Does nothing for your situation.

Besides that won't stop the temptation  
And you still need elimination  
Of prurient thoughts  
(known as 'the hots').  
You might try in sad desperation.

Some strong alcoholic libation  
Or powerful sleep medication  
But this is perverse  
And just makes things worse  
And leads to excess aggravation.

Plus, Captains in the Federation  
Must never endanger their station  
With pills and with drink  
As others might think  
They suffer from deep desolation.

And if an inborn hesitation  
With regards to self flagellation  
Causes extra grief  
There's a way to relief:  
But be warned it involves animation.

Yes, 'Fleet's refined an innovation -  
An aid to help alleviation  
Of naughty urges  
And hormone surges  
Which can be the source of vexation.

In order to find consolation  
You're instructed in activation  
Of lasers and light:  
An illusory sight  
But you then can cause the creation

Of programmes when in operation  
Do provide a chance for flirtation.  
A game, then a dance;  
A holo-romance -  
Resulting in some osculation.

This of course can cause consternation  
In Captains who fear degradation  
From actions adult  
Which often result  
From male and female confrontation.

But set aside all trepidation  
Those fears have no base or foundation  
It's a proven fact:  
A holodeck act  
Will not damage your reputation.

In fact if you need confirmation  
Or want official validation  
Just take a quick walk  
With your Holo-Doc  
He'll provide you with affirmation.

So there's no need for vacillation  
When you long for gratification  
Just take a good look -  
It's there in the book:  
Starfleet recommends masturbation.

~*~


End file.
